warmwood, evening 2; tsukiyama + banjou

[lasuaspada]

[Tsukiyama doesn't return home immediately after the trial; rather, the first part of his evening is full of the sort of questionable life choices that lead to him getting violently ill immediately after he does. It'd been reckless, and he's aware that it's a bad idea to be spending time anywhere near someone possessed while he's in a less than ideal physical state, but at the same time he can't say that he can be bothered to care, and in its own way it had been entirely worth it.

After a while, however, he'd forced himself up and straightened himself up, and even if he's still looking...slightly disheveled he's more composed than he has been for the better part of the day, and when he finally finds Banjou he doesn't approach him properly. Instead he just leans up against the doorframe and watches him for a moment; when he finally speaks, his voice is perhaps surprisingly calm, even if his expression is a bit unnervingly blank.]

Why did you abstain?

[The question is straightforward; it's all he offers for now. No greeting, but not screaming insults either. Just a question.]

Comments

[lasuaspada]

...I see.

[Hmm.]

Were you being honest with me when you told me that you abstained because you didn't want to kill me, then?

[irenicly]

[There's a short nod.]

What your brother feels, I feel.

[lasuaspada]

[...That actually gets a brief laugh out of him; he settles rather quickly at that, actually.]

So he's acting as my shield even now...? How very like him.

If that's true for all of you, however, that explains why you put us to sleep rather than doing anything else - I'd wondered about that. It would make more sense for you to kill us, if you felt so maliciously toward all of us.

[irenicly]

We'd rather not kill any of you.

[And that, at least, makes him feel a little better. Like this, he isn't really lying to Tsukiyama.

But Banjou is a pacifist, not naive. He knows people are going to stop abstaining and people will actually start dying. Probably as soon as tomorrow.]

I don't want you to die.

[lasuaspada]

Naturellement - no, I think getting to send me to the pyre would give the dove too much satisfaction.

[irenicly]

Doves really are all the same, aren't they?

[Nothing personal, Fulbright.]

I know you won't trust the word of a demon, brother, but I will always be your "shield."

[lasuaspada]

[...You know, about that.]

So if you don't dislike us, and you don't want us to die - what is it that you're...doing, exactly?

[irenicly]

[He looks at his hands at that question.]

...I'm sorry, Shuu-san, but I can't answer that question.

[...]

It's not that I don't want to tell you, but I... I don't know.

[lasuaspada]

...How can you not know, monsieur? You have to be putting us to sleep for a reason.

[irenicly]

We were given a motivation-- something I can't tell you, but I will say it was enough to compel us forward.

All I can say is we must make as many Faithful sleep as possible. We weren't given an option.

[He believes the Gentleman as much as Tsukiyama believes the Lady, but now that Tsukiyama is questioning him, it reminds him of his time as a runner for Aogiri Tree, and how very low on the information chain he really is.]

[lasuaspada]

You want to harm the Lady.

[It's not exactly a question.]

[irenicly]

[He can't deny that.]

No matter what happens, I want you to know that I'm doing this for you.

I know you don't believe me-- that I haven't given you a reason to believe me, that I could have killed you today because I didn't think things through, but I will do whatever I can to protect you.

Even if it kills me.

[lasuaspada]

[He folds his arms again, looking away. Thinking.]

I need to defend my brother, but I've no interest in leaving a demon alive. Not if he's going to harm the Lady, and I have no proof that you aren't going to harm us in the end.

Do you see my issue right now?

[irenicly]

If I die, he dies. I don't want that.

I will do what I can to prove to you that I'm telling the truth. I'll try and convince the others not to target you, Shuu-san.

[lasuaspada]

...There's no way to get him back, is there?

[irenicly]

If I accomplish my goal, I'll leave him willingly.

[lasuaspada]

...You really are lucky that I don't believe in mercy; I'd kill both of you otherwise.

I have nothing but your word, after all.

[irenicly]

If there's ever a time you think I'm a liar, kill me.

[He's completely serious.]

[lasuaspada]

Don't you understand? I don't want to.

[And there's where his voice cracks; he's quick to lower his head like he had in the trial, and he's bunching the fabric of his sleeves in his fists so tightly his knuckles are turning white.]

I've never believed in human sentimentality.

[His words are surprisingly quiet, given the source.]

Things like that...they're for the broken, or for weaker beings that don't know any better. I've never been weak, and I've never been broken. What does it matter to me if I lose people? One, ten, twenty, a hundred - did he tell you what I did to my "friends" at the restaurant I used to frequent? All of them, all of them meant nothing to me. I didn't care, why should I care? They were a necessary sacrifice and they were mine to give, so I did, and you know what, I felt nothing about it.

I don't ever feel anything about it, because I'm one of the strong in this world - it's my right to do this.

[He drags his arm across his eyes; he's still not looking up.]

But he's all I have. He's all I...have...and I don't know what I'm supposed to do if you take him from me...

[He shifts again, burying his hand in his hair; he pulls on it a bit, clearly trying to work some of the stress out.

It isn't working; his words are tight. Shaking.]

If you don't give him back at the end of this I'm going to kill you. I'm going to kill you and I'm going to burn his body myself. If I can't have him, you can't either.

[irenicly]

[Why, why is this making Tsukiyama cry? This is wrong, this goes against everything he knows about the other man, he doesn't know why it hurts so badly, why he can feel what are probably tears welling up in his eyes.

It's not a good look for a supposed demon. Maybe... maybe he can say it's Banjou's emotions again. It's the only lie he can use right now.]

It's alright, Shuu-san. I won't stop you.

I'm your "shield," I'll lay down my life for you.

[lasuaspada]

[He swipes at his eyes again, the gesture angry.]

...Until I get in your way. Isn't that right...?

[irenicly]

[He gives a sad smile.]

Shuu-san, if the Maddened takes you out tonight, I will die tomorrow. I will try to discourage the other demons, but there are two other people who can target you.

If the worst happens, if you do not wake in the morning....

I won't be there to greet you when you awaken at the end.

[....]

This is goodbye, brother.

[lasuaspada]

...Don't call me that.

[He breathes deeply; makes one more pass over his eyes before he looks up.

He's smiling when he does, though the expression is a bit distant.]

I hate you, you know. With all the passion I'm capable of, I hate you.

And if what you say is true, I hope that cuts you as deeply as it would him.

[irenicly]

[That stings. It burns so deeply that Banjou has to look away.

He needs to keep his composure, but what can he do? He's going to die tomorrow. He's thrown his own brother under the bus, and he's probably doomed his entire group single-handed, just like he's done before.

Just like he always done.]

It's my fault you're losing your brother. I can let you talk to him one last time.

[lasuaspada]

[His kneejerk response is to say no - to be contrary as hell and say that he doesn't want any favors a demon has to offer him, but he manages to bite it back.]

Or you could just stop tormenting both of us and give him back, if you're capable of doing so at will. But fine. Let me see him.

[That smile is still present, dissonant though it is; it's obvious that he's trying to remain calm, and for the most part he seems to be succeeding.]